16 Comments
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Sattie R's avatar

Yes, habits can absolutely change. It's part of figuring out what can be maintained and how we want the relationship to evolve.

Odel Asseille's avatar

Agreed. I believe we should just avoid to betray ourselves, apart from that, everything can evolve.

Sattie R's avatar

This is something I need to think about...It may not look entirely the way we want it to once we choose our habits and decide the type of relationship we want to have/maintain. We would have to consider what the other person wants the relationship to be like and what habits they would be able to maintain themselves. The relationship would not unfold quickly. It would be something that would take time to work on consistently before it looks the way we would want it to.

Odel Asseille's avatar

I agree with that. The relationship would not unfold quickly. It can be messy at the beginning, but I believe at this point the capacity to observe is important. We can choose habit that aligns with who we are truly, and observe who the other is and adjust our habits over time. The Habits are not dogma, they can be changes. Can’t they?

Sattie R's avatar

This is good to make note of. The first step is to be honest with ourselves and then with others in what we can and cannot maintain in any relationship. Thank you for sharing this reflection on habits in relationships.

Odel Asseille's avatar

Thanks for reading it.

I’ve been asking what will a relationship look like if we choose consciously our habits and with purpose ?

Aaliya's avatar

Your reflection on relationships is insightful and relatable. I love how you highlight the importance of establishing healthy habits from the start for long-term commitment, while also addressing the challenges of people-pleasing and setting boundaries. It’s a reminder that self-worth and mutual respect are crucial for a harmonious partnership.

Odel Asseille's avatar

Thank you, Aaliya.

And I couldn’t agree more, it’s about self-worth and mutual respect for a harmonious partnership. We should pick our habits and not let them corner us.

Phoeby's avatar

Nowadays, honesty is often confused with stating your truth at any cost—even if it hurts the person next to you. But honesty toward yourself… uh… that’s a hard topic. You first have to stop in order to truly see yourself. I really liked what you wrote.

Odel Asseille's avatar

Thank you, Phoeby !

Honesty toward oneself helps to be more aware and by doing that, we become capable yo see things from others’ perspective. Don’t you think so ?

Phoeby's avatar

It’s the only way, in my opinion.

AsukaHotaru's avatar

That part about apologizing just to end the silence hit like a bruise... I know that loop, where “normal” starts costing you pieces of yourself. It’s such a quiet way to get trained...

Odel Asseille's avatar

At some point, a lot of us know that loop. Some of us survived it, at least

Sara da Encarnação's avatar

Absolutely agree

Odel Asseille's avatar

Thank you Sara