Digitalis
All my life, I have known fear.
A restless mind,
a quiet sense of ruin.
It walked beside me—faithful,
a shadow within my shadow,
warden of an unseen prison.
I was afraid.
I am still afraid.
Of whom? Of what? Since when?
At what moment
was I cast into this current?
Oh, how many faces it wears,
changing with every season of my life.
Oh, how deep her roots sink—
layered like an onion,
each ring a hidden cage.
I choke on my own fears,
walls rising too often
against the pulse of my heart—
walls that only ask
to be opened.
Yes, I tried to open them,
not knowing what would rise
from their depths.
A fractured past.
Scars that linger.
A child, lost.
Scenes that never truly faded.
I feared my fears.
And there—
in the eye of my suffering,
a fragile light flickered—
the quiet promise
of another dawn.
So I sat with them.
I let them enter my space.
Like old companions
who began on the wrong foot,
we learned to speak again—
to see,
to listen.
They met my gaze.
Sharp.
Unsettling.
Unforgiving.
A gaze heavy with forgotten truths—
truths I had buried
in silence.
I did not run.
No—not this time.
I was afraid.
Even that time.
But I stayed.
And in that discomfort,
something shifted—
keys,
quietly placed in my hands.
Keys to clarity.
To understanding.
Yes…
I learned to understand.
And then—release.
A pressure loosening,
almost imperceptible.
My heart, newly aware,
beating like the slow rise
of a distant sun.
My fears remain.
But now—
I see them.
I know them.
And they no longer crush me.
They revealed their workings,
their silent machinery,
pulling me
out of my own doubt.
Their truth—
I learned to hear it.
Their burden—
I learned to hold it.
Fear is not only a dark cavern.
It is also
the teacher of the brave.
Like Digitalis purpurea—
beautiful,
poisonous at first glance,
a quiet bearer of death…
yet within it,
the medicine of the heart.
My fears—
no longer chains.
My fears—
signals.
warnings.
Fear—
a language.
A sentence.
A shield.
A guide.
Become a free subscriber to receive new posts and stay updated on my journey! If you’re looking for deeper insights and a more comprehensive analysis of the mechanisms behind facing your emotions, consider upgrading to a paid subscription. Your support will not only help sustain this space but also provide you with the tools and reflections to navigate your own journey. Alternatively, if you find value in what I share,
you can simply buy me a mirror,
your encouragement fuels this exploration!
With clarity,
The Mirror Room
Odel A.
Keys quietly placed in my hands... a soft strange image for fear, not kinder exactly, just suddenly something you can hold...
Great poem Odel. And very true. A lot of us let fear guide our lives for too long. Mine was driving. I was absolutely terrified of driving. I couldn't do it. For years. In Europe it's not too bad, but I suppose for a car-culture like America, unheard of. I'd like to say it all had a happy ending, but nope. I still don't drive. I like to think about my carbon footprint. And cycling is healthier anyway.