First Reflection on Love — To Love Is Also to Accept Suffering
Why should you take the time to listen to what the suffering is revealing?
This series begins with a first look at what we may also encounter in a relationship.
This is the first reflection on love.
A first step into what lives beneath the ideals.
Beyond passion, harmony, and happiness, there is one truth we rarely name.
Not to discourage love —
but to approach it with clarity.
Here is the first reflection:
First Reflection on Love : To Love is also to accept suffering
One truth we are not told often enough before entering a relationship is that loving also means accepting suffering.
We never tell a child that one day he will suffer because of love in the relationship. Perhaps to protect them. Perhaps also because we know they would not believe us.
But I believe it is important to know this, from the very beginning.
Because loving and suffering often go hand in hand.
Suffering in love does not come only from betrayal, lack of respect, emotional distance, or arguments. It is not always born from a harmful act. Sometimes, it comes from the most human, the most sincere things.
We suffer from distance, when we want to hold the other in our arms and they are not there.
We suffer from misunderstanding, when two people love each other but fail to understand one another, to meet in their ways of thinking or existing.
We suffer from silence — whether it is voluntary or imposed by circumstances. And when we cannot endure that silence, we leave too quickly… only to sometimes regret it later.
We suffer when the other suffers, because we feel powerless, incapable of easing the pain of the one we love.
We suffer when our values, our visions of life, our aspirations are too far apart.
And sometimes, we love a person… but to stay with that person, we would have to sacrifice a part of ourselves.
The other loves us too, but he or she is faced with the same dilemma.
Can we reinvent ourselves to just be with the other one?
And can we live happily with the person we will become by their side?
No matter the answer: there is suffering.
But suffering is not necessarily a bad thing.
It is often a sign that what we are living is real, important, vital. It can be a signal, a guide, a reminder.
It can show us what needs to change, what needs to be corrected.
It can also tell us: it is time to leave.
But sometimes, it begs us to stay.
That is why we must learn to understand our suffering.
So as not to stay when it is time to leave.
And above all, so as not to leave when it was time to stay.
🪞 Mirror for Reflection
If something feels heavy in your relationship, do not rush to judge that suffering.
Do not label it too quickly as good or bad.
Pause.
Sit with it.
Begin by questioning the pain itself:
Where does this suffering come from?
Is it born from fear, from distance, from incompatibility, from an unspoken need?
Is there something here I can change, express, or correct?
Or is this something I would have to carry, accept, live with?
Take the time to listen to what the suffering is revealing.
Because when suffering is understood, it becomes clearer.
And when it is clear, decisions become wiser.
Understand the suffering before acting.
Before reacting.
Before leaving — or staying.
🪞 Gentle question for you:
What is this pain in your love life trying to show you— about yourself, about the other, or about the path ahead?
🤍 If this reflection resonates, you’re welcome to walk alongside this series.
New reflections will arrive weekly, each exploring one facet of love.
I’d love to hear your voice, too.
How do you understand suffering in love?
Is it something to endure, to learn from, or a sign to let go?
This Friday, a poem-echo will follow —
written by a guest voice, offering another mirror to this reflection.
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Until next time,
Warmly,
Odel A.