Sometimes the deepest childhood wounds come from the parent we admired the most. Understanding them may be the first step toward understanding ourselves.
I’m glad you finally said it, Odel-chan~ Loving your dad didn’t mean you had to keep proving yourself every time he believed someone else first. You were allowed to be his adult son too.
Odel, this is an incredibly profound and courageous piece of self-reflection. The realization that over-explaining isn’t just a random habit but a survival mechanism meant to convince a parent who refused to hear you is a major breakthrough. It’s common to unconsciously split our parents into a 'hero' and a 'villain' to make sense of childhood pain, but true healing begins when we see them both as flawed, human actors. Your journey to setting that healthy boundary at 27 is a beautiful blueprint for reclaiming your adult voice. Thank you for sharing this.
I think we carry a lot of habits that we dislike and that’s hard to change. But when we identify where it came from and why it existed in the first place, that make it easier to deal with. We all make mistakes, even those who should protect us
You’re very welcome, Odel. I think you’re right—understanding where a habit began can change the way we face it. What once helped us survive may no longer help us live well, but recognizing its purpose can replace shame with compassion. And yes, even the people meant to protect us can fail us. We may not be responsible for what was handed to us, but we can still choose what we carry forward. Thank you for adding such honesty to the conversation.
I’m glad this part stay with you. It’s one of the thing that I had to understand so that I can move one. What we say sometimes count less that how we do them and the tone we use to do that
My parents have always been the ones to care for others, even at their own detriment. I find that I am like them in that way. I give too much of my time and energy to others and many don't do the same for me. I am learning to pour into myself and be my safe place until safe people come into my life.
Your parents are really good people and that is one thing people in this world don’t know how to value sometimes. It is good to care for others, but that shouldn’t ask self-sacrifice. That said, I like to believe in cycle of life. I do good, even sometimes knowing that exact person won’t do the same for me, but I know that the universe has its was to bring those goods deeds back to me.
I believe in the circle of life also. I have not stopped being kind or giving. I am just pouring into myself also so I don't end up empty at the end. I hope that whatever I do makes a positive difference wherever I go.
Taking care of yourself should be the first priority, indeed. How can you give if you possess nothing? How can you help in domain you know nothing about?
I’m glad you finally said it, Odel-chan~ Loving your dad didn’t mean you had to keep proving yourself every time he believed someone else first. You were allowed to be his adult son too.
It was like a stressful moment, yet very satisfying.
Thank you very much, Asuka-sama !
Odel, this is an incredibly profound and courageous piece of self-reflection. The realization that over-explaining isn’t just a random habit but a survival mechanism meant to convince a parent who refused to hear you is a major breakthrough. It’s common to unconsciously split our parents into a 'hero' and a 'villain' to make sense of childhood pain, but true healing begins when we see them both as flawed, human actors. Your journey to setting that healthy boundary at 27 is a beautiful blueprint for reclaiming your adult voice. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you very much, Jay !
I think we carry a lot of habits that we dislike and that’s hard to change. But when we identify where it came from and why it existed in the first place, that make it easier to deal with. We all make mistakes, even those who should protect us
You’re very welcome, Odel. I think you’re right—understanding where a habit began can change the way we face it. What once helped us survive may no longer help us live well, but recognizing its purpose can replace shame with compassion. And yes, even the people meant to protect us can fail us. We may not be responsible for what was handed to us, but we can still choose what we carry forward. Thank you for adding such honesty to the conversation.
That's the goal, indeed 😊🙏🏽
Powerful stuff. I loved the part where you noted the thing that changed wasn't talking back but the way you talked.
Thank you, Seb !
I’m glad this part stay with you. It’s one of the thing that I had to understand so that I can move one. What we say sometimes count less that how we do them and the tone we use to do that
My parents have always been the ones to care for others, even at their own detriment. I find that I am like them in that way. I give too much of my time and energy to others and many don't do the same for me. I am learning to pour into myself and be my safe place until safe people come into my life.
Thanks Sattie.
Your parents are really good people and that is one thing people in this world don’t know how to value sometimes. It is good to care for others, but that shouldn’t ask self-sacrifice. That said, I like to believe in cycle of life. I do good, even sometimes knowing that exact person won’t do the same for me, but I know that the universe has its was to bring those goods deeds back to me.
I believe in the circle of life also. I have not stopped being kind or giving. I am just pouring into myself also so I don't end up empty at the end. I hope that whatever I do makes a positive difference wherever I go.
Taking care of yourself should be the first priority, indeed. How can you give if you possess nothing? How can you help in domain you know nothing about?