What if the secret to lasting love lies not in changing the other person, but in embracing their unique way of loving? Discover how viewing relationships as a consultation can lead to deeper connections and true understanding.
Who can truly define what a 'real man' is? The answer to that question is only the person I am ready to let into my life once I am certain that I am truly myself. That person, and no one else.
It’s exactly as you say, it’s just my answer to the question, and in a way, it’s very similar to what you’re writing about. Sometimes, or rather quite often, we focus on the other person, on the partner, instead of looking into ourselves or into a mental mirror. We shouldn't be ashamed of that mirror because only then—when we realize that we aren't perfectly ideal either, and that this is precisely what makes us as real as we can be. Only then are we ready not to change others, but to accept them. Thank you 🫶
And as you say, we should never be ashamed of our inner mirrors. Own them. And also accepting that each of us has that mirror. For when we look someone based on that image, they are doing the same. And when they accept us, not because we are perfect, but sometimes, because they accept to make space for us to be, beyond that image!
Yes, we should not force our expectations on another person. To demand how a person should act is controlling and the opposite of love. A lot of relationships end because of this. Thanks, Odel, for this reminder. I like your doctor / patient analogy. We need to be open and direct in our relationships. That way, both people know where they stand and what they need to do to try to make the other person feel safe and loved.
Who can truly define what a 'real man' is? The answer to that question is only the person I am ready to let into my life once I am certain that I am truly myself. That person, and no one else.
It’s exactly as you say, it’s just my answer to the question, and in a way, it’s very similar to what you’re writing about. Sometimes, or rather quite often, we focus on the other person, on the partner, instead of looking into ourselves or into a mental mirror. We shouldn't be ashamed of that mirror because only then—when we realize that we aren't perfectly ideal either, and that this is precisely what makes us as real as we can be. Only then are we ready not to change others, but to accept them. Thank you 🫶
Thanks for reading it and sharing your thoughts!
And as you say, we should never be ashamed of our inner mirrors. Own them. And also accepting that each of us has that mirror. For when we look someone based on that image, they are doing the same. And when they accept us, not because we are perfect, but sometimes, because they accept to make space for us to be, beyond that image!
🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
Thanks for that lovely point of view — it freeing, lighthearted — that supports both autonomy and authenticity...
Thanks for reading it.
That sense of lightness often comes when we stop trying to fit love into a fixed shape.
Yes, we should not force our expectations on another person. To demand how a person should act is controlling and the opposite of love. A lot of relationships end because of this. Thanks, Odel, for this reminder. I like your doctor / patient analogy. We need to be open and direct in our relationships. That way, both people know where they stand and what they need to do to try to make the other person feel safe and loved.
Thank you Órla for reading and for your thoughtful comment. Greatly appreciated.
At the moment, I couldn’t find a better analogy than the doctor/patient to materialize the idea
You're welcome, Odel.
The doctor analogy worked well.
woah, i've never thought of viewing relationship as a consultation before. makes sense to me. nice one Odel!
Thank you, Joy!
The consultation was a good one. Glad it made sense to you
https://ramji111.substack.com/p/the-journey-of-the-third-gender-from?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=6qede1