This is so emotional! I understand some of this … my parents played favorites and used labels that Ive spent a lifetime trying to shake. These childhood experiences are things that create deep beliefs and identities we never asked for, they create bonds and break bonds! It’s just how it is. I hope your brother reads this letter one day … I feel like it would provide so much healing! Thank you for giving us a glimpse into your life! I don’t take lightly how hard it is to be so transparent and vulnerable! It’s a beautiful thing! 🥹
The more I think about childhood, the more I start to question my beliefs and identities. I realized that who we are today is deeply connected with our childhood. The more we can understand that period of our lives, the better it would be for us. Thank you and I wish my brother would find it some day and this could become a bridge between us. I deeply hope so.
Thank you for reading and for your kind words ! Greatly appreciated 🥰🥰✨
I think we need to question these things even if we come to the same conclusions because they would then become our choices. You’re so welcome! Your writing is beautiful!
Thank you so much, Hank for reading and sharing such a story with us!
And I am very sorry for all that situation, it's painful and it's something we have to carry with us. You made me think about a song I've been listening lately. It says that some have their love ones but don't like them while some others just don't have them anymore. Even though, I still ignore how my big brother will react if I try to get back in touch now, but I promise you I will try. And somehow, I like to believe that your siblings may know how you love them and are protecting you as well.
And a younger sister 13 months younger than I. All three of us were inseparable as young children. As we aged, my older sister and I were mistaken as twins constantly. It was a bit endearing then it slowly grew to annoying then we began to resent each other. We’ve since grown into ourselves as adults but those years do exist between us.
I can relate to that feeling. How much I hated when people compared me with my brother, even more when they took us for twins and put us in the same box.
As children, it’s natural that we fight for attention and that king of situations can create distance between us. As adult, I believe we should understand that and reconsider the way we see and treat our siblings. That said, that depends on both sides
Admitting that your success came from absorbing his studying across the neighborhood is a moving and beautiful realization. It profoundly reflects how deeply connected your lives were, even as you struggled to find your own identity. You’ve conveyed the emotional weight both of you bore with remarkable grace.
That makes the realization even more powerful, Odel. What looked mysterious to your family was evidence of a bond working quietly beneath the surface—his learning had become part of yours before either of you fully understood it.
This is beautiful. It is a bit heart wrenching because parts of it I lived, most of it I can relate to. Your shows were very big, but it would still be hard to walk in your brother's. Wonderful.
Indeed, I guess it would be hard being in his skin. I used to be so angry at him but writing this and self-reflection took away that anger little by little. And I see why you can relate to most of it, I think when we grow with siblings, a lot of that happens.
This poem was such a tear jerker. I know how parents play favourites and how the eldest child is treated and expected to be, as I am the eldest in my family. There was some resentment. My parents were always harder on me. I was expected to set an example for the younger ones. Now that my siblings and I are all adults it is different. I get along with my sister and my baby brother and our other brother we don't get along with.
Thank you very much Sattie! I’m sorry for the other brother you don’t get along, sometimes that doesn’t depend completely on us. But as long as we keep loving them, protecting them even helping them behind the scene, that’s already enough.
Although I can’t say my parents play favorites. I’d sat the problem was more that they try to treat us the same, while they keep giving something like parental responsibility to my big brother over me. They were not always present, so he had to look after me. While they still keep putting us in the same level.
I don’t know if that make sense.
I get along with my two other brothers as well. No sister in the family 🌚
What you say makes sense. My parents would ask my sister and I to help with cooking and cleaning and our brothers were not expected to do anything. They didn't realize they were being easier on some than the others because that's how they were raised. Daughters handled the domestic and boys were taken care of.
Our cultures have some similitudes. Usually girls handle the household chores, and the boys go help with works. As my parents come from farmers family, the boy helped in the farm, the physical work. This is different now, things have changed in the las decades. As in my family, we were only boys so I didn't live that situation neither.
Yes, things have changed. My brothers don't just do the stereotypical male roles anymore. They also cook and clean and help in caring for their kids. They are not raising their kids the way we were raised.
Family relationships are rarely simple. They often carry equal parts love, disappointment, loyalty, gratitude, and hurt. What resonated with me most is that this piece doesn’t try to explain away those contradictions or force a neat resolution. Instead, it honors the complexity of what it means to grow up alongside someone whose life has been intertwined with your own from the very beginning.Thank you for sharing such an honest and vulnerable reflection.
I agree. Family matter are rarely simple. It’s often a mix of love, expectations, hurt, disappointment and so much gratitude. As you pointed it out, it’s important to keep the complexity of it. Recognizing the love without denying the hurt, be grateful and loyal without denying the disappointment. The goal is to see the person behind and understand them and perhaps we could have a better relationship.
This is beyond beautiful, Odel!
Thank you very much, Jess😊
This is so emotional! I understand some of this … my parents played favorites and used labels that Ive spent a lifetime trying to shake. These childhood experiences are things that create deep beliefs and identities we never asked for, they create bonds and break bonds! It’s just how it is. I hope your brother reads this letter one day … I feel like it would provide so much healing! Thank you for giving us a glimpse into your life! I don’t take lightly how hard it is to be so transparent and vulnerable! It’s a beautiful thing! 🥹
I couldn’t agree more, Laura !
The more I think about childhood, the more I start to question my beliefs and identities. I realized that who we are today is deeply connected with our childhood. The more we can understand that period of our lives, the better it would be for us. Thank you and I wish my brother would find it some day and this could become a bridge between us. I deeply hope so.
Thank you for reading and for your kind words ! Greatly appreciated 🥰🥰✨
I think we need to question these things even if we come to the same conclusions because they would then become our choices. You’re so welcome! Your writing is beautiful!
Exactly, question them doesn’t necessary mean to change them, but to be conscious so that they would become our choices, then.
Thank you for your lovely compliment 🥰🫶🏽
You’re welcome! ❤️
You write so well, and think deeply with much psychological complexity.
I began to look at my relationship with siblings that I never met. They were killed by Nazi soldiers in Poland, during WWII.
My parents who met after the war, had lost their spouses and each of their children; my half siblings .
I was told they existed and were killed.
My father told me the names of his three children, when I was around age 17.
I don’t remember their names.
My mother never told me the name of the infant she lost.
I haven’t been able to say hello to them, nor say goodbye .
There are probably similar stories to mine and I’ve never looked into them.
I’m still probably frozen inside!
Your stories and those of the others , have touched me.
I’d like to touch my invisible siblings!
Thank you so much, Hank for reading and sharing such a story with us!
And I am very sorry for all that situation, it's painful and it's something we have to carry with us. You made me think about a song I've been listening lately. It says that some have their love ones but don't like them while some others just don't have them anymore. Even though, I still ignore how my big brother will react if I try to get back in touch now, but I promise you I will try. And somehow, I like to believe that your siblings may know how you love them and are protecting you as well.
I am 11m younger than my sister.
Read that again. 11 MONTHS.
And a younger sister 13 months younger than I. All three of us were inseparable as young children. As we aged, my older sister and I were mistaken as twins constantly. It was a bit endearing then it slowly grew to annoying then we began to resent each other. We’ve since grown into ourselves as adults but those years do exist between us.
I can relate to that feeling. How much I hated when people compared me with my brother, even more when they took us for twins and put us in the same box.
As children, it’s natural that we fight for attention and that king of situations can create distance between us. As adult, I believe we should understand that and reconsider the way we see and treat our siblings. That said, that depends on both sides
Admitting that your success came from absorbing his studying across the neighborhood is a moving and beautiful realization. It profoundly reflects how deeply connected your lives were, even as you struggled to find your own identity. You’ve conveyed the emotional weight both of you bore with remarkable grace.
Thank you very much, Jay! The funny thing my parents and even my big brother never understood how I can have such good results at school.
That makes the realization even more powerful, Odel. What looked mysterious to your family was evidence of a bond working quietly beneath the surface—his learning had become part of yours before either of you fully understood it.
If he ever reads this, I do not think he will be disappointed. I listened to this in the evening. It is beautifully written, and genuine.
Thank you very much Farrah ! That means a lot. He may not be dispapointed by the part 1, but hope it’d be the same for part 2
I am sure he will understand :) I have had some rumbles with my siblings as well (:
I hope so. And I’m glad knowing you worked it out well with your siblings
This is beautiful. It is a bit heart wrenching because parts of it I lived, most of it I can relate to. Your shows were very big, but it would still be hard to walk in your brother's. Wonderful.
Thank you so much Darryl.
Indeed, I guess it would be hard being in his skin. I used to be so angry at him but writing this and self-reflection took away that anger little by little. And I see why you can relate to most of it, I think when we grow with siblings, a lot of that happens.
Really thank you, I appreciate that 🫶🏽
You are very welcome, Odel. It was veru moving.
This poem was such a tear jerker. I know how parents play favourites and how the eldest child is treated and expected to be, as I am the eldest in my family. There was some resentment. My parents were always harder on me. I was expected to set an example for the younger ones. Now that my siblings and I are all adults it is different. I get along with my sister and my baby brother and our other brother we don't get along with.
Thank you very much Sattie! I’m sorry for the other brother you don’t get along, sometimes that doesn’t depend completely on us. But as long as we keep loving them, protecting them even helping them behind the scene, that’s already enough.
Although I can’t say my parents play favorites. I’d sat the problem was more that they try to treat us the same, while they keep giving something like parental responsibility to my big brother over me. They were not always present, so he had to look after me. While they still keep putting us in the same level.
I don’t know if that make sense.
I get along with my two other brothers as well. No sister in the family 🌚
What you say makes sense. My parents would ask my sister and I to help with cooking and cleaning and our brothers were not expected to do anything. They didn't realize they were being easier on some than the others because that's how they were raised. Daughters handled the domestic and boys were taken care of.
Our cultures have some similitudes. Usually girls handle the household chores, and the boys go help with works. As my parents come from farmers family, the boy helped in the farm, the physical work. This is different now, things have changed in the las decades. As in my family, we were only boys so I didn't live that situation neither.
Yes, things have changed. My brothers don't just do the stereotypical male roles anymore. They also cook and clean and help in caring for their kids. They are not raising their kids the way we were raised.
This resonated pretty deeply. Well done.
Thank you very much, Seb. Greatly appreciated 🫂✨
Family relationships are rarely simple. They often carry equal parts love, disappointment, loyalty, gratitude, and hurt. What resonated with me most is that this piece doesn’t try to explain away those contradictions or force a neat resolution. Instead, it honors the complexity of what it means to grow up alongside someone whose life has been intertwined with your own from the very beginning.Thank you for sharing such an honest and vulnerable reflection.
Thank you so much, Claudia 🥰
I agree. Family matter are rarely simple. It’s often a mix of love, expectations, hurt, disappointment and so much gratitude. As you pointed it out, it’s important to keep the complexity of it. Recognizing the love without denying the hurt, be grateful and loyal without denying the disappointment. The goal is to see the person behind and understand them and perhaps we could have a better relationship.
Again, thank you and be blessed ✨☺️