That little boy wasn’t ungrateful, Odel. He loved his father and still needed room to breathe... I wish someone had told him he was allowed to need that.
This is heartbreakingly beautiful. You captured the complicated truth that love and pain can coexist without canceling each other out. The honesty in this piece is powerful, and I think many readers will quietly recognize themselves in it. Thank you for sharing!.
The boy's eyes are fixed on his father. This is his hero and that's exactly how he wants to be, which is why sometimes words stick and burn in our memory because we are focused on our role model.
Sometimes our wounds came from the image we have about that role model, the expectations the child’s mind carry about the father. At that time, we rarely see the man.
Beautifully written with a deep sense of gratitude and love. Yes, sometimes we don't understand a parent until we become parents ourselves - this is the paradox of the generation.
Indeed, there’s a lot to unpack. I think we inherit different things from our mothers and our fathers. And due the way society have seen men across history, that can make the wounds and emotional distance from a father deeper that the mother.
Thank you, Sattie ! Take the time necessary with that mirror question and I hope you’ll gain deeper clarity at the end of your journey with it
This hit me between the eyes … a way of seeing the contradiction of loving a father deeply despite the pain and hurt he caused that I didn’t know was possible. Why between the eyes? Because I couldn’t see that side of it until reading this. I’m not sure I can hold the love and the pain at the same time. Or maybe I can, and I just chose a different outcome.
I don’t know whether I love my father.
I do know that I love myself enough to create the distance I need to take care of myself. I made that choice for me. I can’t keep giving … my heart, my soul, my life, my life force … while still holding on to the belief that I can or will experience a different outcome.
Maybe one day I will be able to get myself to a place of where I too can hold both at once. But that time is not now.
Thank you for reading and sharing your perspective, Wendy.
I can relate and understand it. There is something admirable in it. You are the only one that knows what you should do. Even though my father hurt me, looking back I see it was not willingly and our relationships was not terrible. Your past may be different from mine, although our stories can be similar somehow.
Self awareness is the most important thing and the starting point. You love yourself and perhaps your father influence that in you as well. If I should quote one of my favorite line is: Thanks to those who didn't help me; they helped me do things myself.”
Keep taking care and love yourself. And perhaps the day will come when you’ll be able to handle both truths with no tension.
Love the poem and how it shows the contradictory feeling one has for their father, like you can't really hold stuff against him and yet they hurt so much sometimes
great poem, Odel!! amazing work as always!
Thank you, Jess! Hope you’re feeling better ❤️✨
thank you, Odel! I'm doing much better now!
Good to know that 🫶🏽❤️.
I appreciate you! looking forward to going live on Tuesday with you!
🥰🥰🥰 I like you too❤️. A little anxious but excited as well. Looking forward to it ☺️
Whenever you decide to make the Netflix documentary “surviving Haitian parents,” bro, sign me up. Great work as usual, my friend— keep it coming 💙
That will be a hell of a documentary. We’ll have to make several seasons 😁. Thank you, dear one ❤️🫂
That little boy wasn’t ungrateful, Odel. He loved his father and still needed room to breathe... I wish someone had told him he was allowed to need that.
Thank you, Asuka-sama. You just did that 😊
A beautiful and honest piece of work, Odel. Superb writing.
"I love you deeply.
But I breathe better
when I am far from you."
Gratitude and suffocation
lived in the same house
his whole childhood.
He didn't need
to choose one.
The cliff he refused to jump from
wasn't really about
the height.
It was the first place
he learned
that love, from someone that big,
can also press down.
— AËLA
Beautiful poem as always 🥰
This is heartbreakingly beautiful. You captured the complicated truth that love and pain can coexist without canceling each other out. The honesty in this piece is powerful, and I think many readers will quietly recognize themselves in it. Thank you for sharing!.
Thank you very much ! Some part of our stories might be similar! Same struggles with our parents
Nothing is forgotten, only memories fade with time.
And somehow the feelings remains sometimes
The boy's eyes are fixed on his father. This is his hero and that's exactly how he wants to be, which is why sometimes words stick and burn in our memory because we are focused on our role model.
Sometimes our wounds came from the image we have about that role model, the expectations the child’s mind carry about the father. At that time, we rarely see the man.
Beautifully written with a deep sense of gratitude and love. Yes, sometimes we don't understand a parent until we become parents ourselves - this is the paradox of the generation.
Thank you very much ! Greatly appreciated ☺️✨
A very insightful handling of a complex relationship. Well done.
Thank you very much, Seb!
It’s indeed complex. I understand why people say: “Don’t criticize your father until you are a father yourself.”
This was amazing, Odel. This reflection question is one I will sit with for a while. There is a lot to unpack from it.
Indeed, there’s a lot to unpack. I think we inherit different things from our mothers and our fathers. And due the way society have seen men across history, that can make the wounds and emotional distance from a father deeper that the mother.
Thank you, Sattie ! Take the time necessary with that mirror question and I hope you’ll gain deeper clarity at the end of your journey with it
Thank you, Odel 🙏🏼
Growing up is a journey. Facing your childhood framework takes courage. Well done. Lovely poem.
Thank you, Kevin 😊
This hit me between the eyes … a way of seeing the contradiction of loving a father deeply despite the pain and hurt he caused that I didn’t know was possible. Why between the eyes? Because I couldn’t see that side of it until reading this. I’m not sure I can hold the love and the pain at the same time. Or maybe I can, and I just chose a different outcome.
I don’t know whether I love my father.
I do know that I love myself enough to create the distance I need to take care of myself. I made that choice for me. I can’t keep giving … my heart, my soul, my life, my life force … while still holding on to the belief that I can or will experience a different outcome.
Maybe one day I will be able to get myself to a place of where I too can hold both at once. But that time is not now.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reading and sharing your perspective, Wendy.
I can relate and understand it. There is something admirable in it. You are the only one that knows what you should do. Even though my father hurt me, looking back I see it was not willingly and our relationships was not terrible. Your past may be different from mine, although our stories can be similar somehow.
Self awareness is the most important thing and the starting point. You love yourself and perhaps your father influence that in you as well. If I should quote one of my favorite line is: Thanks to those who didn't help me; they helped me do things myself.”
Keep taking care and love yourself. And perhaps the day will come when you’ll be able to handle both truths with no tension.
Thank you, Odel. 🙏🏻 Perhaps. One day….
My pleasure and thank you as well ! You’ll know with time 😊☺️✨
Love the poem and how it shows the contradictory feeling one has for their father, like you can't really hold stuff against him and yet they hurt so much sometimes
Nice work 🫶
Thank you, Zümraa.
It’s a complex thing, the relationship we have with our loved ones.