TOWARD A LIVING AND CONSCIOUS IDENTITY - part 1
Seeing yourself clearly — the first step toward becoming who you truly are.
Welcome back.
This marks the beginning of the third and final chapter of my essay on identity.
The first one, Understanding Identity, is available for free on Gumroad — if you’re new here, you can read the full chapter by clicking this link.
The second one, The Traps of Identity, ended last week with a poem. The complete version will also be available soon on Gumroad.
Now comes the last part:
Chapter 3 — TOWARD A LIVING AND CONSCIOUS IDENTITY.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing each section of this chapter until it’s complete.
This is the first piece.
If it speaks to you, I’d really love to hear your thoughts — feel free to drop a comment or send me a DM.
TOWARD A LIVING AND CONSCIOUS IDENTITY
When you look at a group of zebras, at first glance, you see beautiful animals that all look the same. Even if you’ve never seen one in real life, you instantly categorize them by their stripes, their color, their build. But if you take the time to observe them carefully, you quickly realize they each have differences—in behavior, in voice, in how they move… And even if you stay focused on the exterior, you’ll discover that each zebra’s stripes are unique. There’s always a nuance, sometimes subtle, but enough to make each one distinct.
Isn’t it the same with each human being?
We are born into an environment, a family, a culture. We inherit principles, beliefs, a language, an accent, a collective history. This baggage matters—it shapes us, guides us. But sooner or later, a desire is born within us: to be more than just a reflection of our surroundings.
What we receive is only the starting point—a foundation, not a cage. Because true identity isn’t defined by who we are at the beginning, but by who we consciously choose to become. It is built as we learn to listen to ourselves, to sort through what fits us, to let go of what suffocates us. A living identity is one that evolves, that isn’t afraid to change, to contradict itself, to start over.
What makes a team strong are the qualities of its players and every one of its members. There are teams that, when you watch them play, give the impression that their athletes move as one. Their coordination is flawless, their style is synchronized, and often the results are impressive. Some players thrive in that structured environment. Others, however, feel the need for freedom—to express themselves in their own way, through their own style.
And that’s when we discover other teams, where each player seems to have a distinct playing style. Their approach is varied, sometimes unpredictable, and yet these teams remain formidable. Their strength comes precisely from that diversity, from the ability to unite different identities in pursuit of a shared goal.
Of course, the team has its demands, its strategies, its standards. But each athlete also has their own goals, their dreams, their vision. Their career becomes a journey—a path of transformation. They may start in a club academy, but their growth takes them through other teams, other coaches, other philosophies. They refine their style, explore new techniques, uncover their strengths. And sometimes, they return to their original team—not as the same person, but as a more complete version of themselves, enriched by experience.
An athletic career, like the construction of identity, is a quest for values and courage. To offer the best of yourself to a team, you sometimes have to let go of old habits, move beyond former teachings, adapt without betraying yourself. Some values remain rooted from the very beginning—respect for the game, ethics, discipline… I may not know all the inner workings of an athlete’s life, but of this I’m certain: some foundations don’t disappear—they evolve with us.
Every pursuit of a solid and conscious identity rests on certain foundations that are essential to recognize.
Learning to See Yourself
It’s such a seemingly simple thing that we often end up overcomplicating it—or worse, underestimating it. I like to say that life is much simpler than we think, and that most of the time, we’re the ones making it complicated.
How long does it really take to sit with yourself?
What does it really cost to gently dig into your inner world, without fear?
Just imagine for a moment what life could look like if we truly took the time to know ourselves. To recognize our strengths, to admit our flaws, to own our desires without betraying our values… it would change everything.
It’s always easier to say what we don’t want than to clearly express what we do. It’s instinctive, almost automatic: we look at the world, we see other people’s mistakes, their pain, their injustice, and we think, “I don’t want that.”
And yet—how often do we end up falling into those same traps, almost without realizing it?
I believe this happens because knowing what we don’t want doesn’t guarantee we know what we do want. And when that clarity is missing, we follow paths that aren’t ours. We get lost in directions that don’t reflect who we are. We end up living lives that don’t truly belong to us.
That’s why it’s so important to learn to observe ourselves. To imagine our life as a film, and to watch ourselves with kindness—without judging, without correcting, without justifying. Just observe. Learn.
At first, of course, we mostly notice what we reject. That’s natural. It’s the first step. But rejection is not the end—it’s only a beginning. Once we’ve acknowledged what we no longer want, we create space to explore the rest. We begin to seek, to feel, to experiment.
Some things will reveal themselves clearly, as if they were always meant to be there. Others will only emerge over time—after a chance encounter, or a mistake.
And sometimes, in the trial-and-error process, we uncover one of our greatest passions. Only then do we begin to catch a glimpse of the truth of who we are.
If something here resonated, here are a few questions to carry with you:
When was the last time you truly saw yourself—not as others expect you to be, but as you actually are in this moment?
What parts of you are waiting to be expressed, yet remain hidden because you fear they might not “fit” with who you’ve been?
What would your life look like if you allowed your identity to evolve freely—without apology, without resistance, without clinging to old versions of yourself?
If you feel like sharing, leave a comment or send me a DM.
See you next week for the next piece of this journey.
Warmly,
The Mirror Room – First Edition
If you’d like to support my work, consider becoming a subscriber inbox.
you’ll receive my reflections and new pieces every week, directly in your
Excellent piece on an issue that's so close to us we can't see it: who exactly we're looking at in the mirror. You make a great point about the fact that knowing what we don't want doesn't help us figure out what we do want. The answer is self-awareness, and finding it is our journey. The sooner we can understand who we are and get out of our own way, the more we can enjoy the life that we want, as opposed to what others and marketers want for us.