TOWARD A LIVING AND CONSCIOUS IDENTITY — Part 3
True change doesn’t come from success or failure—it comes from the foundations you’ve built within.
→Read the previous post TOWARD A LIVING AND CONSCIOUS IDENTITY — Part 2
Choosing Your Foundations: Values
We often hear that success changes people—that money corrupts the heart. But is that really true? I deeply doubt it.
I grew up in a culture where money is spoken of as the root of all evil. Where success is viewed with suspicion, almost with fear. I was taught that the higher you rise, the more you lose yourself. That someone who changes along the way has betrayed their origins. But today, with perspective and experience, I see things differently.
It’s not circumstances that destroy a soul—it’s the absence of solid foundations. It’s not wealth or success that change a person. It’s what they never took the time to build before they got there.
Let’s take a simple, yet heartbreaking example: that of a love that is sincere, deep—but unreciprocated… or perhaps just poorly expressed. There comes a moment when the heart, too wounded, can’t take any more. It protects itself. It withdraws. Leaving, in that case, isn’t abandoning—it’s self-preservation.
But does that mean love dies? Do we truly stop loving just because we’re no longer there? Because we no longer answer the calls? Because we no longer wish to carry someone else’s burdens? I don’t believe so. In many cases, we continue carrying that love—silently, sometimes for life. We simply learn not to let it consume us anymore. We choose to leave in order to find ourselves again, to learn how to breathe again. Not because the love has vanished, but because the situation no longer allows us to honor it without betraying ourselves.
And that, I believe, is where we touch the heart of what values really are. Love, in this example, isn’t just an emotion. It’s a foundation. Even as we change—even as our gestures and words evolve—even if the person is no longer by our side, that value remains within us. It shapes our future choices, our relationships, our way of showing up in the world.
We may seem different in our next relationship—more guarded, more distant, or on the contrary, more open. But that change doesn’t mean the value has disappeared. It’s still there, deeply rooted. It’s what guides us. It’s what saves us from confusion and emptiness.
That’s why choosing our values is an essential step in building a strong and conscious identity. A value doesn’t depend on others. It isn’t up for negotiation with life’s seasons. It doesn’t flee under the spotlight of success, nor does it vanish in the shadows of failure. It endures. It may evolve, yes—but never in a way that betrays what it truly is.
To build your identity is to choose your foundations with care—those that will withstand the storms, the temptations, the losses. And among them, love—when it’s sincere—is often one of the most enduring.
Step for Reflection
Take a quiet moment this week to write down three values that truly guide you—beyond opinions, habits, or emotions.
Ask yourself:
When everything shakes, what remains unshaken in me?
Which value do I refuse to betray, even when it costs me something?
And how can I live that value more consciously today?
A living identity isn’t built overnight—it’s shaped, one choice at a time, upon what you decide will never change.
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Until next week, take care !
Warmly,
Odel A.