→Read the previous post TOWARD A LIVING AND CONSCIOUS IDENTITY — Part 3
Values Are Not Dogma
It’s common—and sometimes even unsettling—to see how two brothers raised in the same household, shaped by the same principles and traditions, can become so different as adults.
This becomes even more striking when it comes to twins—beings who share the same face, who walk parallel paths, and yet possess distinct souls. As if the outer resemblance existed only to better highlight their inner uniqueness.
That teaches us an essential truth: values are not dogmas carved in stone. They are reference points, anchors, silent beacons. They are not meant to confine, but to illuminate. They remind us of where we come from, what we’ve chosen not to forget, what we refuse to sacrifice—even when everything else is falling apart.
We often speak about “becoming someone.” But few dare to ask the prior question:
What will I build that “someone” on?
What will be my foundation?
Because any structure, if it is to last, must be built on solid ground—on values that are chosen, owned, and lived.
And this is where true human diversity begins: not all wealthy people are the same. Neither are all poor people. Not all women, or men, or children of the same country, or followers of the same religion… Each person carries within them a world shaped by the unique evolution of their values. Sometimes similar, sometimes completely opposite, these values grow at their own pace, flourishing in unexpected directions. It’s a silent but constant dance.
I find that fascinating.
All it takes is to observe someone in a moment of success to understand them better. Abraham Lincoln put it well:
“Give a man power, and you’ll know who he really is.”
Because success doesn’t change us. It reveals us. It strips away the masks. It lays us bare. When someone gets everything they desire, they no longer need to pretend. They can finally be—or show who they’ve always been. And what comes through isn’t artifice, but the true foundations of their identity.
The opposite is also true. A person brought low, stripped of context and audience, reveals their deepest values as well. In pain, we see patience, dignity—or sometimes, the lack thereof. Hardship doesn’t necessarily shape a soul; it highlights the contours that were already there.
I remember this phrase from Jim Rohn, passed down from his own mentor:
“Become a millionaire—not for the money, but for the person you’ll have to become to get there.”
Because once the money is gone, what remains is the person. And who you become is worth far more than what you own.
So before we long to be wealthy, to be loved, to be recognized, we should ask a more intimate question:
Who will I be once I have all that?
What kind of man or woman am I building behind my dreams?
What values will walk with me to the top—and hold me up if I fall?
Yes, I want to succeed. Yes, I want to love and be loved. But not at any cost. Not in just any direction. Because without chosen and rooted foundations, my identity would be nothing but a sandcastle. And when the storms of life come—whether in the form of glory or failure—there would be nothing left but a name drained of meaning, a reflection without substance.
That’s why it is vital—almost sacred—to choose your values before choosing your destiny.
🪞 Step for Reflection
Take a moment to write down three values you want to protect—no matter what you gain or lose in life.
Ask yourself:
Which values define who I am at my core?
Which ones have I inherited—and which have I truly chosen?
How can I live them more consciously today?
Because a living identity isn’t about perfection—it’s about coherence between what you believe and how you show up in the world.
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Until next time, take care.
Warmly,
Odel A.
Identity is consistency, also adjustment. Cultivating self through conscious introspection. Very good article.