When Gratitude Becomes a Turning Point

A year of unexpected growth, quiet victories, and the courage to begin again.

A December of Gratitude

This month of December is, for me, a moment of gratitude. I feel that this year has been one of the most beautiful and remarkable for me. And I am thankful to God for all the good things that have happened to me.

Of course, I’m still not where I would like to be. I still have the same job, I’m still broke. But my life, in a way, feels richer, more beautiful, more balanced. I am more aware of myself. And that alone is already a great victory.

This year, I finally stopped running from myself and took the time to face who I am. And the result isn’t disappointing. In truth, we never disappoint ourselves when we take the time to listen and to understand who we are.

One of the things I am deeply grateful for is Substack.

As my birthday approached last June, I realized I hadn’t accomplished anything concrete in my life. That bitter taste of failure caused a heavy frustration in my chest, and for once, I decided to do something different: publish a book. (Where Love is Lost and Reborn)

I had never written that kind of content before; I knew nothing about the writing world, had no audience, no email list… nothing. Just a personal-development fiction project and a few reflections on love.

The fear of failure could have stopped me, but the feeling of having done nothing meaningful in my life was stronger. It was absolute madness.

I wrote the book. I even made a stupid mistake in the process: I paid for an edit before doing a beta read and rewrite. Poor me!

Then, when I wanted to find an audience, I did some research and Substack appeared at the top of every suggestion—including ChatGPT’s. I created an account, full of enthusiasm, as if life were really that simple.

I joined the platform in May, I think. I’m the kind of person who forgets dates and faces; I remember emotions better, how I felt in the moment. And in that moment, I was motivated, believing that my audience was waiting for me with open arms. What a mistake!

I eventually stopped using the platform.

I truly believed in the message of my writing. But as Youssoupha, an artist I often quote, says: “You can have the right message while still being a bad messenger.”

Because the truth is, I was looking for an audience while Substack offers a community. And in a community, we take care of each other. And since I wasn’t giving my time and didn’t have the right mindset, I didn’t get the result I wanted.

I published my book, of course. I think I sold three copies. Less than $10. But let me tell you, my friends, this book is the most important of all my works. Because after writing it, I felt more aware of myself. I could see myself more clearly, and I wanted others to see themselves that way too.

So I continued writing personal-development essays: identity, love, the modern household, emotional management… and the more I wrote, the more I realized my own wounds, the more I healed. And the desire to share with others kept growing in me.

After months away, I decided to return to Substack, with a showcase page on Medium. This time with a new mindset. I wasn’t looking for an audience, but for connections. I write to grow, and I share to help, without forcing anything, without expecting anything. And the result is different.

There are many people I am grateful for.

I am grateful to myself. Because I had the courage to return to Substack with more sincerity and to truly invest myself this time.

I am grateful because I listened to myself and took the time to understand and know myself a little more each day.

It’s crazy how we think about thanking others and sometimes forget to thank ourselves for our own efforts, isn’t it?

I am grateful to the 93+ subscribers of The Mirror Room Journal. Thank you for supporting this space of freedom and reflection. I will continue to do my best, to offer more mirrors, with the hope of helping others find more truth.

When I truly came back to Substack, the first person who welcomed me and gave me advice was J B Deverell. I am grateful to him. A mentor, an elder.

Thank you to Margaret Williams, MS, ACC I think I made mistakes during our first encounter, but your words really marked me and helped me move forward.

We encourage others to publish even when there is no reaction, and it’s true that we don’t write for applause. But it still feels good when someone supports you and leaves a sign of encouragement.

I am grateful to Amit The Storyteller —she always leaves a like, as if saying, “I see you, I understand your efforts, don’t give up, your time will come, but until then, I’m here with you.”
Also to Maxim Spasskiy , Charisse Joy Melegrito, Mind Reset, Nia Quinn🌿 , Nnamdi, Órla Kenny, Luna, Michael Hatcher, Soham, Will G., Kristine Dubuque, SheHermit✍️🪔

Joe Robinson, Thank you for our exchange and telling me about the “Australian Walkabout”. I loved the concept and even use it in a poem, called “Ode to Solitude”. Maybe, I will publish it this week and tag you on it. But, seriously, I truly appreciates our exchange.

I have so many reasons to be grateful for Substack. Creators who helped me without ever meeting or speaking to me.

Kaguura Gichuru , your comment on growth lagging self-concept really helped me. Thanks to Landon Poburan for having post that note about the imposter syndrome too.

Thanks to Philip Hofmacher and the whole team Write • Build • Scale . Your article on the 365 lessons learned from Substack helped me in many ways.

Then there are those who run boost communities. I met a lot of people thanks to them: Wes Pearce , Carrie Loranger, Ana Calin, Derek Hughes, Chris B. Writes. You guys are making a really great job. I’m grateful having found you on here.

My collaborators Tangled Words, Asura😁—oh no, AsukaHotaru, Amit The Storyteller.

Ral Joseph , thank you for the invitation to Planet Ral. Still waiting for the next project.

john john, your advice about meditation was really helpful. Blessings, brother!

FRIEND, your constant texts about self-discipline are really motivational and inspiring.

Stijn Noorman, your notes always hit me different, hard and give me strength to keep building. Thanks for being here.

Old Man Talks your writing always resonate deeply with me. They are like good medication for self.

pm your text inspires me. I’m grateful for that.

If I start listing everyone, I think I’ll never stop.

So just know that I am grateful for all of you—those who read me in silence, those I read in silence too, those whose words lit my path and helped me grow.

I hope this new year brings us even more blessings and opportunities than ever.

Thank you all!
And to myself as well, 😁😁!

---

🪞 Reflection for the Week

What is one moment from this year that quietly changed you — and have you thanked yourself for surviving it?

---

🪞 If you want to support my work

Consider becoming a free subscriber to The Mirror Room Journal,
and share this reflection with someone who might need it today.

Until next time, take care.
Warmly,
Odel A.