It’s true it’s not a black and white story. It’s easy to blame others, but it’s hard to understand them completely. Or at least, understand that we are not at fault.
That gym-machine comparison..? Made me go quiet in the most annoying oh babe, yes kinda way... Little-you wasn’t broken or dramatic, he was just trying to survive adult stuff with no manual, and I really liked how you didn’t turn anyone into a villain just to say the hurt was real. The messy middle is so hard, and you made it sound a little less lonely.
When we are hurt, we look for a villain. But I believe we should look for understanding first. And if we should cut some people off, do it from that understanding.
I really appreciate this. I think so many people get stuck because it feels like if we admit we have childhood wounds, then we have to also say our parents were terrible people, and that isn’t always true. Sometimes people love us and still hurt us. Sometimes they really were doing the best they could with what they knew at the time. And yes, the conclusion the child makes is such a big piece of it. The thing itself hurts, but then the child tries to make sense of it and turns it inward. I wasn’t wanted. I’m too much. I don’t matter. I need to be smaller. And then we carry that around for years like it’s the truth, when really it was just the only explanation our child-mind could come up with. I love the idea of going back with adult eyes. Not to excuse what happened, but to help that younger part of us understand what they couldn’t possibly understand back then. That feels like such an important part of healing.
Thank you, Andrea. For reading and sharing your thoughts.
I love the way you put it: it’s an important part of healing. It’s not about blaming nor excuse what happened then. Because no matter how we see it, the pain we carried was real. But to make our younger self understand what we couldn’t fully understand back then.
That’s the fundamental belief of my religion. Life is hard, and anything worth accomplishing is hard as well. That’s what makes it worth accomplishing. The easy stuff is just easy.
That's a good foundation of faith. I love the perspective. When something comes easy, it happens that very often we don't value it the way we should. We value more the things we fight had to get.
Could you tell me a little bit more about your religion? Its core principles ?
There are 8 main scriptures, it’s simply the main messages of existing religions condensed to the most important concepts which lead to spiritual enlightenment. The core principles, that’s tough. I guess life is painful, accept it, be grateful for it, and live with compassion, respect, and love for all things. That’s a very short version lol, there’s some fairly crazy faith and logic based observations within it as well but that would be the basic gist.
The basic gist carries lot of depths, motivation and inspiration. We are more than bodies moving around, we are also spiritual beings and these principles are important in enlightenment process. Thanks for sharing them with me.
It’s very true as a kid you do see things in more extremes in black-and-white. And it’s important to realize that even seemingly un-harmful things from your adult mind did and could harm you deeply as a child. Acknowledging these wounds, and giving your inner child compassion is so monumental in the healing process.
I think it is not really that my parents were bad, even when I can point a finger at the things they did and did not do. No, it is the habits that they inherited, inflicted on them by everything that made them that way, the same as it is with me. The more remarkable thing, when I examine the world closely, is that we always do the best we can, … with no exceptions.
I agree with you. We always do the best we can with what we have. And we should admit that sometimes the best of us is not enough. But we can try to understand them and try to move in a better way.
You are able to uncover the complexity behind these emotions so well, my son. It’s not a simple blame game. It’s not a black and white story.
Thank you, dear one.
It’s true it’s not a black and white story. It’s easy to blame others, but it’s hard to understand them completely. Or at least, understand that we are not at fault.
That gym-machine comparison..? Made me go quiet in the most annoying oh babe, yes kinda way... Little-you wasn’t broken or dramatic, he was just trying to survive adult stuff with no manual, and I really liked how you didn’t turn anyone into a villain just to say the hurt was real. The messy middle is so hard, and you made it sound a little less lonely.
Thank you, Asuka-Sama.
When we are hurt, we look for a villain. But I believe we should look for understanding first. And if we should cut some people off, do it from that understanding.
I really appreciate this. I think so many people get stuck because it feels like if we admit we have childhood wounds, then we have to also say our parents were terrible people, and that isn’t always true. Sometimes people love us and still hurt us. Sometimes they really were doing the best they could with what they knew at the time. And yes, the conclusion the child makes is such a big piece of it. The thing itself hurts, but then the child tries to make sense of it and turns it inward. I wasn’t wanted. I’m too much. I don’t matter. I need to be smaller. And then we carry that around for years like it’s the truth, when really it was just the only explanation our child-mind could come up with. I love the idea of going back with adult eyes. Not to excuse what happened, but to help that younger part of us understand what they couldn’t possibly understand back then. That feels like such an important part of healing.
Thank you, Andrea. For reading and sharing your thoughts.
I love the way you put it: it’s an important part of healing. It’s not about blaming nor excuse what happened then. Because no matter how we see it, the pain we carried was real. But to make our younger self understand what we couldn’t fully understand back then.
This holds truth that transcends blame and forgiveness. This hold truth that many do not see. Thank you for sharing this with a world that needs it.
Thank you very much, Darryl ! I really appreciate your support ✨
Excellent
Looking at the perspective of the child through the eyes of an adult is an immensely difficult but also a freeing and fulfilling route too take. 💚
Thanks Seb!
Indeed it’s something difficult. Every worthy thing in life may seems difficult at the beginning but the results can be so refreshing and rewarding
That’s the fundamental belief of my religion. Life is hard, and anything worth accomplishing is hard as well. That’s what makes it worth accomplishing. The easy stuff is just easy.
That's a good foundation of faith. I love the perspective. When something comes easy, it happens that very often we don't value it the way we should. We value more the things we fight had to get.
Could you tell me a little bit more about your religion? Its core principles ?
There are 8 main scriptures, it’s simply the main messages of existing religions condensed to the most important concepts which lead to spiritual enlightenment. The core principles, that’s tough. I guess life is painful, accept it, be grateful for it, and live with compassion, respect, and love for all things. That’s a very short version lol, there’s some fairly crazy faith and logic based observations within it as well but that would be the basic gist.
The basic gist carries lot of depths, motivation and inspiration. We are more than bodies moving around, we are also spiritual beings and these principles are important in enlightenment process. Thanks for sharing them with me.
It’s very true as a kid you do see things in more extremes in black-and-white. And it’s important to realize that even seemingly un-harmful things from your adult mind did and could harm you deeply as a child. Acknowledging these wounds, and giving your inner child compassion is so monumental in the healing process.
Thank you for sharing! 🙏
Thank you very much, Olivia 🥰😊✨
Of course it was a joy to read! 💓
I think it is not really that my parents were bad, even when I can point a finger at the things they did and did not do. No, it is the habits that they inherited, inflicted on them by everything that made them that way, the same as it is with me. The more remarkable thing, when I examine the world closely, is that we always do the best we can, … with no exceptions.
Thank you, Burnt !
I agree with you. We always do the best we can with what we have. And we should admit that sometimes the best of us is not enough. But we can try to understand them and try to move in a better way.
The event passes.
The conclusion stays —
a child's explanation
for something too complex
to understand,
quietly running
the adult's life
until someone finally
goes back
and asks it
to explain itself.
— AËLA
Beautiful lines ! Thank you @AËLA ✨🫶🏼
Very insightful and written through a loving and caring lens, Odel.