what a timing. i just had a misunderstanding with a friend days ago. it was my fault so i apologized already and made bids for connection but alas, he's acting cold and distant. i guess we have conflict now? am not sure what to do anymore:/
I would say just give him some time. Have a real talk about what happened. Keep being you honestly and if he can’t see that and keep his distance, consider to take care of you first
yea he's missing in action here so def giving him some time. appreciate you for the input Odel! makes me feel good about doing those things you mentioned
There is a mature tenderness in this: conflict is not treated as proof that something is wrong, but as information. I liked how the piece holds both boundaries and patience
knowing what cannot be accepted, while still leaving room for misunderstanding, habit, and learning...
Just as you mentioned in one part of this story, we are all different and everyone reacts differently to the same or similar situations. In theory, that’s exactly how it sounds, and it’s good to try to find an 'instruction manual.' I think, from my own experience and the experience of those around me, that the most important thing regarding the topic you're writing about is realization—accepting oneself. Looking in the mirror is often a very painful process, but being alone with that mirror is something pricelessly important for anyone who wants any kind of relationship with others, whether it’s friendly, professional, or romantic. Please don’t get me wrong; the topics you write about are very important. I just think (and this is only my opinion, it could be completely irrelevant or totally wrong) that for anyone to form any kind of bond, they must first strengthen the bond with themselves. Because what triggers us in others is often exactly what we don’t want to see in our own reflection.
Thank you for this piece, and I’m sorry for writing such a long response.❤️
I couldn’t agree more. Knowing and accepting oneself is the foundation of everything. But it’s not enough. And paradoxically, this process is effective only for those who know themselves. When you know your strength and your limits.
When I entered a relationship before (my marriage) I had not thought about having a plan for resolving conflicts. I thought we were supposed to talk things through once there was conflict.
I think knowing how I will approach it and communicate through it beforehand is a good idea before I enter another relationship. I want to be able to communicate effectively and safely to resolve any conflicts with my partner.
That’s something natural and nobody teach us about those stuffs. So we go in and learn to face the reality the hard way.
At the beginning of this journey, I ask myself one question: If there are things I wish I had known before getting into romantic relationships, what would they be?
At least, our past experience prepare us what will come next
what a timing. i just had a misunderstanding with a friend days ago. it was my fault so i apologized already and made bids for connection but alas, he's acting cold and distant. i guess we have conflict now? am not sure what to do anymore:/
I would say just give him some time. Have a real talk about what happened. Keep being you honestly and if he can’t see that and keep his distance, consider to take care of you first
yea he's missing in action here so def giving him some time. appreciate you for the input Odel! makes me feel good about doing those things you mentioned
I'm glad that helps, Joy 🤩
There is a mature tenderness in this: conflict is not treated as proof that something is wrong, but as information. I liked how the piece holds both boundaries and patience
knowing what cannot be accepted, while still leaving room for misunderstanding, habit, and learning...
Thank you, Adrien !
We tend to avoid conflict, because we think it destroys the bond. But what if conflicts were never the problem ?
Just as you mentioned in one part of this story, we are all different and everyone reacts differently to the same or similar situations. In theory, that’s exactly how it sounds, and it’s good to try to find an 'instruction manual.' I think, from my own experience and the experience of those around me, that the most important thing regarding the topic you're writing about is realization—accepting oneself. Looking in the mirror is often a very painful process, but being alone with that mirror is something pricelessly important for anyone who wants any kind of relationship with others, whether it’s friendly, professional, or romantic. Please don’t get me wrong; the topics you write about are very important. I just think (and this is only my opinion, it could be completely irrelevant or totally wrong) that for anyone to form any kind of bond, they must first strengthen the bond with themselves. Because what triggers us in others is often exactly what we don’t want to see in our own reflection.
Thank you for this piece, and I’m sorry for writing such a long response.❤️
I couldn’t agree more. Knowing and accepting oneself is the foundation of everything. But it’s not enough. And paradoxically, this process is effective only for those who know themselves. When you know your strength and your limits.
Thank you for this response, and I agree with you.❤️
You had a great point at the beginning 😊🫶🏽
❤️
When I entered a relationship before (my marriage) I had not thought about having a plan for resolving conflicts. I thought we were supposed to talk things through once there was conflict.
I think knowing how I will approach it and communicate through it beforehand is a good idea before I enter another relationship. I want to be able to communicate effectively and safely to resolve any conflicts with my partner.
That’s something natural and nobody teach us about those stuffs. So we go in and learn to face the reality the hard way.
At the beginning of this journey, I ask myself one question: If there are things I wish I had known before getting into romantic relationships, what would they be?
At least, our past experience prepare us what will come next
You're absolutely right that our past experiences help prepare us for futee for what comes next.
So true. Thank you Nikita for your comment. Greatly appreciated