This was a great read, thank you for sharing. I think this is a lesson I have learned later in life, clear boundaries are essential and also talk about the deal breakers together, so you both know expectations. ~ Nerra ⚔️⚡⚖️
Indeed. It’s not just the vibe, Boundaries and expectations should be clear. Sure we will not know everything from the beginning, it’s an unpredictable journey, but we can prepare ourselves better for it.
At least you learned it, that’s the most wonderful things.
I think your principle about protecting boundaries is very important.
However, in my experience, the boundaries we try to maintain can sometimes be translated as indifference by the other person. Perhaps that is where relationships often face their real crisis.
When we start meeting someone’s demands simply because we fear being seen as uncaring, expectations tend to grow. And those expectations can easily become distorted into a form of control within the relationship.
I also hope that my wife does not cross my boundaries. But when I think about it, even that desire could be seen as a form of control.
So I believe it is important not to direct disappointment toward the other person, but instead to take responsibility for the expectations I chose to have.
To me, love means protecting my own boundaries while patiently waiting — even when the other person does not immediately respect or understand them.
I keep circling the line you draw between love and principle, the way love can feel like a storm, but principle is the lighthouse keeping us from wrecking ourselves on the rocks. The image of giving more than you have, of bending toward someone’s happiness until you fracture,that resonates like a pulse I’ve felt myself.
I love how you honor the balance: freedom alongside devotion, care without self-erasure. Principles as guardrails, not chains. That distinction, so simple, so necessary is where real love survives, where it grows without dissolving into chaos.
Thank you for reminding us that leaving can be an act of love, that protecting ourselves is not betrayal, but clarity.
I’m glad it resonates with you, And thank you for sharing a lovely comment.
I believe love is note a fusion of the people, not only that. A relationship should be a space where we feel complete with the other, with ourself. And among the feelings, principles, habits… are things that shape the dynamic.
Love isn’t meant to blur two people into something indistinguishable. It’s meant to let two whole beings stand side by side without shrinking. Completion with the other, not disappearance into them.
I appreciate that you included principles and habits in the architecture. Feelings ignite the space, but principles keep it livable. Without them, intensity turns unstable. With them, love has edges, not to confine it, but to protect it.
What you’re describing isn’t distance. It’s integrity.
And love with integrity doesn’t fracture so easily.
Exactly, that’s the crux. Love alone doesn’t carry us; it asks for balance, for reflection, for boundaries. What’s missing isn’t feeling, it’s clarity: knowing when devotion nourishes and when it consumes.
Talking to yourself like a “crazy guy” isn’t madness, it’s examination. That’s how insight grows. That’s how resonance happens.
And yes, it resonates because it’s honest, lived, and unafraid of the hard questions.
This was a great read, thank you for sharing. I think this is a lesson I have learned later in life, clear boundaries are essential and also talk about the deal breakers together, so you both know expectations. ~ Nerra ⚔️⚡⚖️
Indeed. It’s not just the vibe, Boundaries and expectations should be clear. Sure we will not know everything from the beginning, it’s an unpredictable journey, but we can prepare ourselves better for it.
At least you learned it, that’s the most wonderful things.
I think your principle about protecting boundaries is very important.
However, in my experience, the boundaries we try to maintain can sometimes be translated as indifference by the other person. Perhaps that is where relationships often face their real crisis.
When we start meeting someone’s demands simply because we fear being seen as uncaring, expectations tend to grow. And those expectations can easily become distorted into a form of control within the relationship.
I also hope that my wife does not cross my boundaries. But when I think about it, even that desire could be seen as a form of control.
So I believe it is important not to direct disappointment toward the other person, but instead to take responsibility for the expectations I chose to have.
To me, love means protecting my own boundaries while patiently waiting — even when the other person does not immediately respect or understand them.
Thank you for the thoughtful reflection.
“To me, love means protecting my own boundaries while patiently waiting — even when the other person does not immediately respect or understand them.”
This line resume it very well.
Odel, this is quietly ferocious.
I keep circling the line you draw between love and principle, the way love can feel like a storm, but principle is the lighthouse keeping us from wrecking ourselves on the rocks. The image of giving more than you have, of bending toward someone’s happiness until you fracture,that resonates like a pulse I’ve felt myself.
I love how you honor the balance: freedom alongside devotion, care without self-erasure. Principles as guardrails, not chains. That distinction, so simple, so necessary is where real love survives, where it grows without dissolving into chaos.
Thank you for reminding us that leaving can be an act of love, that protecting ourselves is not betrayal, but clarity.
I’m glad it resonates with you, And thank you for sharing a lovely comment.
I believe love is note a fusion of the people, not only that. A relationship should be a space where we feel complete with the other, with ourself. And among the feelings, principles, habits… are things that shape the dynamic.
Yes, not fusion.
That distinction matters.
Love isn’t meant to blur two people into something indistinguishable. It’s meant to let two whole beings stand side by side without shrinking. Completion with the other, not disappearance into them.
I appreciate that you included principles and habits in the architecture. Feelings ignite the space, but principles keep it livable. Without them, intensity turns unstable. With them, love has edges, not to confine it, but to protect it.
What you’re describing isn’t distance. It’s integrity.
And love with integrity doesn’t fracture so easily.
Thank you!
They point is, I believe we were mislead. They told us love can make us happy, give everything to the other. But is that ever enough?
If the feelings are not enough, what is missing?
I just share what I think after long hours of reflections and talking to myself like a crazy guy loudly🤣
and I'm glad it resonates with you, that means a lot to me
Exactly, that’s the crux. Love alone doesn’t carry us; it asks for balance, for reflection, for boundaries. What’s missing isn’t feeling, it’s clarity: knowing when devotion nourishes and when it consumes.
Talking to yourself like a “crazy guy” isn’t madness, it’s examination. That’s how insight grows. That’s how resonance happens.
And yes, it resonates because it’s honest, lived, and unafraid of the hard questions.
That's my wish, at least !
That everyone could use their inner freedom to shape relationships that fit them and challenge the hard questions
The lighthouse in the middle of the night bit made me soften a little~ Such a calm little image for something so hard.