THE MIDWEEK MIRROR — No. 7: Giving Without Keeping Score
A gentle reminder about generosity, boundaries, and releasing the weight of expectation.
On Sunday, we reflected on a small story with a quiet wound — a child who learned, too early, how disappointment can distort generosity.
Today, I want to remind you of this:
Giving stops being generous the moment it becomes a contract.
Many of us carry an invisible ledger.
We give time, attention, care, kindness — and somewhere inside, we wait.
For recognition.
For reciprocity.
For proof that our giving mattered.
And when it doesn’t come, something tightens.
Resentment grows quietly.
Generosity turns into withdrawal.
But true giving was never meant to protect us from pain.
It was meant to keep us aligned with who we are.
You are allowed to give less.
You are allowed to give differently.
You are allowed to stop giving where it costs you your peace.
But when you do give — let it be free.
Free of memory.
Free of scorekeeping.
Free of the hope that someone will finally make it even.
🪞 Step for Reflection
Ask yourself today:
Where have I been giving while secretly waiting to receive?What would it feel like to give only where I feel whole — not owed?Is there a place where releasing expectation would bring me peace?
Giving is not an exchange.
It is a choice.
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Until Sunday,
Warmly,
Odel A.
I agree with your thoughts about giving. Giving should never have strings. Thank you.
Yes, we must give freely.
I've been practising this since reading Dr. Henry Cloud's book.
Normally, I would not give to get, but as it can be subtle, it is good to have a way of checking in with ourselves.
So, if we say... I think I'll give (such and such) a Christmas present..
We must stop and ask ourselves.. do I want to give them a gift? Am I choosing to give from a full heart, or is it obligation? Why do I think I should give to them?
The reason for this is that there will be no resentment.. we give because we want to give.
This way, we are being honest with ourselves and others.
Expectations destroy relationships.
Thanks, Odel.
Happy Christmas. :)