When did you first start asking yourself: “Who am I?”
This question, for me, is hard to answer. If a child grew up in an abusive home (which I did not), that child might answer, Who am I in several different ways. One, I am an abused child living in an abusive home with abusive parents with little hope of the abuse ending. That is who I am. Two, I am also a kid who loves baseball, climbing trees, my third grade teacher, model rockets, comic books, the neighbor’s playful dog and Suzie Watkin’s laughter. That’s who I am. Three, my older brother is, father is, and grandfather was high ranking military men, war heroes, and men of discipline and courage and good will. Everything in me longs for and works towards that. That is who I am.
If each of those run deep for that child, then, in my opinion, that is who he is. In addition, who I am includes vices. And who I am includes blindspots, and that means there is part of that child that doesn’t who he is.
I like the question, and idea you’re unfolding here, but, boy, such things run deep.
So, you asked, When did you first start asking yourself: “Who am I?”
I think that child was, in his own way, asking Who Am I all along. Children ask it differently than teens, and teens differently than seniors, and seniors differently than young parents.
I asked it as a kid because of my painful childhood. And I asked it in the disorientated high school years. I should have asked it in deeper ways in college. It was in my thirties that understood the depth and need and the power of the question. In my forties I had a fairly good, but still not a fully sufficient answer.
Thank you for reading and for your thoughtful comment.
I’d say that this question is more complex then we imagine. And it leads to an endless journey. At every stage in life, we discover new things about ourselves and we do a lot of changes in us.
We can define who we are based on profession and some values, but they are only shapes of our identities. Later on this series, there is a state that says I is plural. The kid, the young, the adult, the good and the bad, profession, family… We are all that and can be none of that at same time.
Thank you, and I am glad to know that reflection stays with you. It took a while to write the whole series. And your comment and reflection are the kind of outcome that I truly expect and value from it.
I have continued to think about this series, even today, even this morning. I stopped responding to it, but I kept reading it and have kept thinking about it. So, thank you for a good and thought provoking series. :)
A little background, I work in a field that is serious about this topic, namely what has shaped us and how do we shape and reshape ourselves. We work with adolescents and adults to unravel, if possible, what went wrong and how, if possible, to move forward. Our work can be described as a mixture of Augustine, Martin Luther, Jonathan Edwards, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Jordan Peterson, Dallas Willard, Tim Keller, Charles Taylor, and Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. And part of that work is spiritual, namely that if there is an all-wise and good God, and if that God is pro-active, then he is actively shaping people, thus he has bigger plans for us than we do, and his purposes will come to fruition.
I think I can safely say this; you and I are approaching the topic differently, but we want the same result. :) We want people to have an identity based upon something true and solid and possible. And we want to try to understand, unravel and undo, if possible, what went wrong. And we want people to move forward in the most healthiest of ways.
My point in posting this is to say, despite our differences, your series bears the weight of the topic. It is well thought out and well written. :)
Your work sounds interesting. Although I know it can be demanding too. The main goal for me is to help people. Helping them see themselves better, clearer and understanding what is happening in her life. This can bring them a sense of freedom and control over their own choices.
I'm glad work here resonates with your work. Different paths, yes, but the goal is the same: trying to help a little.
I have a question. When you ask yourself, 'Who am I, really?', how do you know which answer is the right one? Do multiple answers come to you at once, or does a single one emerge? Does the question 'What did I want to become?' ever have anything to do with who we actually became—or who we became while we were striving to be that exact thing? I know that’s more than one question, but since we’re on the subject, I’m curious to hear how others’ answers sound to the questions I ask myself. But I mean the answers of ordinary people—not psychologists or psychiatrists, just regular people. Thank you for this text; it leaves so much room for thought.
First of all, I’m an ordinary person 😁. Thank you for your questions.
Personally, I don’t believe there is a direct right answer, but a lot of possibilities. And we can feel it deep down inside of us. When I ask myself that question, a lot of values and flaws come in my mind and each of them are me. I believe the ME is built by a lot of fragments, each fragment is part of who we are, the goods as what we might consider as bad too.
For the question “what did I want to become?”, sometimes we love our way because of the pressure of the society and our emotions. We can ended up being someone completely different than that initial image. But we still can become that person. We don’t become that person, we can just be that person.
This post was part of the first part of the essay, if you keep digging in the following posts, you would have a whole picture and a larger analyze to that idea. Yo can read them on my substack or just grab this first chapter on gumroad, you can download it freely, here’s the link
PS: I am just working on the post I told you about last time, the reflection to make room for the other to love us in their way. It will be publish tomorrow
When did you first start asking yourself: “Who am I?”
This question, for me, is hard to answer. If a child grew up in an abusive home (which I did not), that child might answer, Who am I in several different ways. One, I am an abused child living in an abusive home with abusive parents with little hope of the abuse ending. That is who I am. Two, I am also a kid who loves baseball, climbing trees, my third grade teacher, model rockets, comic books, the neighbor’s playful dog and Suzie Watkin’s laughter. That’s who I am. Three, my older brother is, father is, and grandfather was high ranking military men, war heroes, and men of discipline and courage and good will. Everything in me longs for and works towards that. That is who I am.
If each of those run deep for that child, then, in my opinion, that is who he is. In addition, who I am includes vices. And who I am includes blindspots, and that means there is part of that child that doesn’t who he is.
I like the question, and idea you’re unfolding here, but, boy, such things run deep.
So, you asked, When did you first start asking yourself: “Who am I?”
I think that child was, in his own way, asking Who Am I all along. Children ask it differently than teens, and teens differently than seniors, and seniors differently than young parents.
I asked it as a kid because of my painful childhood. And I asked it in the disorientated high school years. I should have asked it in deeper ways in college. It was in my thirties that understood the depth and need and the power of the question. In my forties I had a fairly good, but still not a fully sufficient answer.
Thank you for reading and for your thoughtful comment.
I’d say that this question is more complex then we imagine. And it leads to an endless journey. At every stage in life, we discover new things about ourselves and we do a lot of changes in us.
We can define who we are based on profession and some values, but they are only shapes of our identities. Later on this series, there is a state that says I is plural. The kid, the young, the adult, the good and the bad, profession, family… We are all that and can be none of that at same time.
You wrote, "I’d say that this question is more complex then we imagine." Yes. YES!
I've been thinking about your post since I read it, and about my response since I wrote it. Yes, it is more complex than we imagine.
I think it has been a good thing for me to ponder.
Thank you, and I am glad to know that reflection stays with you. It took a while to write the whole series. And your comment and reflection are the kind of outcome that I truly expect and value from it.
So thank you! It means a lot
I have continued to think about this series, even today, even this morning. I stopped responding to it, but I kept reading it and have kept thinking about it. So, thank you for a good and thought provoking series. :)
A little background, I work in a field that is serious about this topic, namely what has shaped us and how do we shape and reshape ourselves. We work with adolescents and adults to unravel, if possible, what went wrong and how, if possible, to move forward. Our work can be described as a mixture of Augustine, Martin Luther, Jonathan Edwards, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Jordan Peterson, Dallas Willard, Tim Keller, Charles Taylor, and Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. And part of that work is spiritual, namely that if there is an all-wise and good God, and if that God is pro-active, then he is actively shaping people, thus he has bigger plans for us than we do, and his purposes will come to fruition.
I think I can safely say this; you and I are approaching the topic differently, but we want the same result. :) We want people to have an identity based upon something true and solid and possible. And we want to try to understand, unravel and undo, if possible, what went wrong. And we want people to move forward in the most healthiest of ways.
My point in posting this is to say, despite our differences, your series bears the weight of the topic. It is well thought out and well written. :)
Thanks for sharing this!
Your work sounds interesting. Although I know it can be demanding too. The main goal for me is to help people. Helping them see themselves better, clearer and understanding what is happening in her life. This can bring them a sense of freedom and control over their own choices.
I'm glad work here resonates with your work. Different paths, yes, but the goal is the same: trying to help a little.
I have a question. When you ask yourself, 'Who am I, really?', how do you know which answer is the right one? Do multiple answers come to you at once, or does a single one emerge? Does the question 'What did I want to become?' ever have anything to do with who we actually became—or who we became while we were striving to be that exact thing? I know that’s more than one question, but since we’re on the subject, I’m curious to hear how others’ answers sound to the questions I ask myself. But I mean the answers of ordinary people—not psychologists or psychiatrists, just regular people. Thank you for this text; it leaves so much room for thought.
First of all, I’m an ordinary person 😁. Thank you for your questions.
Personally, I don’t believe there is a direct right answer, but a lot of possibilities. And we can feel it deep down inside of us. When I ask myself that question, a lot of values and flaws come in my mind and each of them are me. I believe the ME is built by a lot of fragments, each fragment is part of who we are, the goods as what we might consider as bad too.
For the question “what did I want to become?”, sometimes we love our way because of the pressure of the society and our emotions. We can ended up being someone completely different than that initial image. But we still can become that person. We don’t become that person, we can just be that person.
This post was part of the first part of the essay, if you keep digging in the following posts, you would have a whole picture and a larger analyze to that idea. Yo can read them on my substack or just grab this first chapter on gumroad, you can download it freely, here’s the link
PS: I am just working on the post I told you about last time, the reflection to make room for the other to love us in their way. It will be publish tomorrow
https://themirrorroom.gumroad.com/l/understandingidentity
Thank you for your reply. Now I have more topics to think about. Don't worry, I'll read everything! 😊
I really appreciate that. Thank you !
If you have any question, I'll be glad to discuss about them with you ✨
Rest assured that I will always have questions when it comes to topics like this. 😃
Awesome
This post can help you navigate better through this series of reflections on identity. It's like a roadmap
https://www.themirrorroom.net/p/start-here-the-reflections-on-identity?r=57v9sj&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web